Saturday, November 26, 2011 § Leave a comment
I wish you wouldn’t have to feel what I am feeling now — the feeling that you have to be somewhere else doing something else. It’s nagging; it’s making me restless. If I only can, I’d drop this feeling off and avoid it totally for the rest of my days. But then again, I realize it’s nagging because it’s meant to be dealt with. Should I go? Where? Should I leave everything now? To do what? It seems the new season looms larger by the day. Always a new season unfurls. Always I find myself fumbling about, unable to grasp its reality. Isn’t it that things change? Circumstances change? People change?
I wish you wouldn’t have to feel what I am feeling now. I wish this against all hope, knowing perfectly well that this will remain that — a wish — because at different points in our lives, we’re going to experience this feeling, and whether we like it or not, we need to reach a decision in which we’ll leave maybe not everything but some things we hold dearly to move to someplace else — literal or figurative — where we’ll fulfill another of our life’s purposes.
One season ends, another one begins. And this is the pattern we’d have to live with on and on and on and on …
Prayerfully considering things,
Wednesday, April 27, 2011 § 3 Comments
As you might have already known, I am making major decisions right now. I know my limited knowledge is incapable of making path-changing decisions, so I’m asking you to shroud my mind and invade my heart. Allow my eyes to look past the immediate, and let me see beyond what presently looks threatening to me.
I’m aware that your ways don’t always match the standards of the world. But I’d rather take you than bring myself to destruction. Without you, I’m doomed. I can say this because I know what it is like without you. You are my shield from the distractions and deceitfulness of the wayward world. The uprightness, the just you show me. You help me understand what seems to be complex, and what seems to be simple you expound for me. So I’ll lace you around my neck and remember that my steps are under your protection.
Let’s go through this together. Hold my hands. Lead me to where the Master wants me to be. You come from Him, after all, so I’m certain that wherever we go, we’ll wind up together in His path. Whatever that path is, I’ll stay. Whether it pleases me or sabotages my illusion, I’ll stick to it, because I know, ultimately, it’s where I should be planted.
Remember this: I’m not going to let you go. But on the off chance that I turn my back on you, please, please, beckon me back to your ways. I’m not allowing myself to dive into the whirlwind on my own. You know how fragile I am. You know how I cower at the slightest hint of threats.
I invite you to come with me. I need your presence now in my youth and all through my old age. My belief is firm that I can count on you, so let’s do this.
Hopeful and waiting,