It’s okay to be clueless
Friday, May 18, 2012 § Leave a comment
I’ve been asked more than once if I have any idea who I am going to be and what I’ll do in the future. In response, I’d bring out from my mental drawer a picture of my future self: A wife to a great man of God, mother to wonderful kids, still writing, working on to become or already an accomplished author, doing missions, teaching, speaking to people.
As far as I’m concerned, this is a perfect picture, because it is based on what I really want to be and do. Yet I know in my heart that my picture of the future wouldn’t be accurate. This is just according to my plan, so its certainty cannot be guaranteed. Not like the certainty of God’s plans.
Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails (Proverbs 19:21).
Truth be told, I’ve long decided to charge my own plans to give way to the plans of my God. I’ve dedicated every piece of myself to pursue God’s ordained future for me. Even though I have no complete picture of it. Even though I am clueless.
But no matter how I try to convince myself that being clueless of the future could mean a thrill-filled and adventurous journey, sometimes I’m just terrified. After all, this kind of journey requires me to live with God’s habit of revealing only tiny detail after tiny detail of His grand plan. He shows only the road I need at the moment and leaves all the others hidden until I need to walk on them. This is not ideal for someone like me who appreciates detailed plans and advanced knowledge of routes, roadblocks, and twists and turns.
And believe me, I’ve asked God a hundred times to let me in on His plans, and always He responds not with a detailed map or with step-by-step instructions, but with “Trust me, my child, I know which paths to take you.”
So I choose to rest on that. Even though I don’t completely understand how He works, I’ll respond to his invitation to completely submit to His plans. In the first place, He knows more than I do. He knows my future even before my past and present came to being.
His plans are to make me prosperous and to be with me whichever road I traverse. And by submitting to His plans, I can be assured of an exceedingly beautiful future I cannot knit together with my own power.
My only part is to take the journey—to hold His hand as He leads me along, to move my feet when He shows me the way, to lean against Him when He instructs me to rest, to make a turn when He needs me to change paths, and to communicate with Him every step I make.
I don’t need to know all the details of God’s plans. I won’t fully comprehend them after all, so with God’s grace, I’m learning to rejoice even in my cluelessness. Besides, it’s enough to know that the creative and wise God whose hand made the universe out of nothing is the same God who has planned out my future to the minutest detail.
Friends, I don’t how you might be struggling with totally embracing—or seeking—God’s plans for you. But trust that He knows every concern and hears every question, and He will bring to light whatever you need to know at this moment, in this season.