A Seven-Day Faith Journey: Day 1
Friday, January 6, 2012 § Leave a comment
I’m going through this not because almost everyone at my church is doing it. No. I have to remind myself over and over that I want to do this journey because I’d like to get intimate with you again, to meet you on a different level. I know for sure how this will help put some order in my life; I know because this journey has done it before.
I am perfectly aware what this will require of me. Even though I’ve done this several times over the years, I still got anxious when I thought about it a few days ago. Honestly.
This is no easy journey; it would make me physically weak. And true enough, I’m beginning to get weak. My stomach is growling, only stopping when I care to give in to its need. I feel my head getting heavy, my muscles trembling. I sense the call of my bed, the call you can’t ignore when you feel like resting, comfortably, undisturbed, blind to the world.
But I will continue on. I want us to talk, to meet you intimately. So I’m choosing to veer away from what will take my eyes off you.
I’ve longed for this. You and I alone.
You. And. I.
But even though I’ve wanted us to talk, I wonder if there are things left to talk about.
You’ve heard possibly every thing I wanted to tell you. Just this morning, I’ve verbalized every need, every concern. What else should I say? Are words even necessary? You know what my heart contains anyway. You can read right through it. Even the things I am not aware of, you know very well.
But maybe we don’t even have to talk. Maybe all we need is to look in each other’s eyes and let our hearts do the talking. Maybe all we need to do is to just enjoy each other’s company.
It benefits me more than it benefits you, I know. No, no. It benefits me, period. You can do without me, but I can’t do without you.
Your presence is what I need. Just your presence. It is where I want to stay. Indeed, it is one of my goals for this journey. I can be with thousands of people, be in thousands of places, but it’s still your presence that gives me lasting peace, perfect hope, and complete joy.
So I ask you to let me stay in your dwelling place, where I can be infinitely in your presence. In your presence, words are sometimes unnecessary. Even in the absence of language, you can meet me and I can meet you. Here, just the two of us—you filling me up, I basking in your love. Certainly, this is what this journey is about.